Sunday, 19 June 2016

Bound by love not blood.

Another month.
Another year.
Another Father's Day.

Time seems to fly by and stop still at the same time,
I wish I could just sit with you, drink tea and have a whine,
and although it's been a while I still expect you to call,
I would do anything, I would truly give my all.

For us down here, life has to go on,
and a lot has happened since you've been gone,
but I know just how proud you would be,
of all your kids, your smile I can see.

I hope you know just how loved you are,
keep on shining as the brightest star.
Thank you for been my dad and friend,
all my love up to heaven I send.

Thinking of you today and always.

Monday, 13 June 2016


Oh hey, its been a while, let's get back thither.

One of the last blog posts I did around 6 months ago {blimey, time is just flying}was my resolutions which I said I wanted to get out more with my camera. Well I have certainly done that. I'm not quite sure how it started but around a month and half ago, wait.. yes I do, I remember exactly how it started.
Sunday 17th April I woke up at about 3am, I was wide awake and there was noway I was getting back to sleep. I played on my phone for a while and then I just got this thought, more like an urge actually, to drive to the coast and photograph the sunrise. So I did it. I drove to Scarborough at 4am.
This was the first time I shot completely in M mode. I was stood on the beach, freezing I might add, just snapping away. When the sunrise was in full swing and my settings were just how I wanted them,  I looked at some of the shots I'd just taken and I was in awe of them. The sunrise was breathtaking and I'd managed to capture some photos that were nearly, but not quite as beautiful. That was the first time I got a feeling of elation from photography and I have been addicted to my camera ever since.

So from that day, I have taken my camera EVERYWHERE. Photography gives me motivation to get out and explore, it gives me happiness and wonder. And the main thing is, it has helped immensely with my anxiety. I feel content.

The only way I can describe what the feeling is like when I get 'the shot' is if you try and imagine you're holding a tiny magical unicorn that has a glowing halo around it's head while hearing the heavenly choir sound effect. Or maybe when you see a new baby/puppy/kitten or anything cute and you feel like you just want to eat it {I know the latter seems strange but that's how I feel, leave me alone}.

I have to thank my three boys for being patient with me when we take little road trips and I'm hopping in and out of the car, only a little whining going on but at least the kids are quiet... lolz. I'm only joking, I really do have a great husband who understands and who is fully supportive of my crazy obsession to capture pretty things. 

Thanks for reading, and thanks to those that uplift and encourage me. I'm sure you'll know who you are.
Take care

Wednesday, 30 December 2015

The Last Year of My Twenties.

Today I turn 29.. (insert 'not sure how I feel about this' meme).
In this post I wanted to note down the things I have achieved/accomplished while I was 28. I also want to write down the things I've learnt.
So let's get started, in no particular order:

I just about got over my fear of driving.
I started working again for the first time in 7 years.
I put myself out there with my photography, to volunteer with a charity.
I made a new friend (that's hard when you're an adult :) ).
I gave up my hair dying celibacy and dyed my hair GREEN and then PURPLE.
I got my Rapunzel length hair chopped!! (never again!)
Got reunited with a family member.
Dismantled a huge play house in the garden to make room for a little allotment and grew some vegetables, then forgot to look after it!
Got my first DSLR and started an online photography course.
Let the hubby live long enough to celebrate our first wedding anniversary and watched our first sunset together.

I've learnt first hand that if you give some people an inch, they will take a mile.
I've learnt that I am too soft and that I should really grow some balls.
I've learnt that it is possible to cry at a scary movie, which leads me to my next thing...
I've learnt that I am a very empathetic and emotional person.

I think that's about it, I'm not sure what I'd like to achieve before I turn 30, we'll just see what happens. I feel as though everyday I'm growing and learning, so I'm kinda looking forward to the next one of these.

Bye for now,
Take care,
Au Revoir,

Wednesday, 23 December 2015

Do you have a resolution?

With 2016 just around the corner, it got me thinking about 'New Years Resolutions'.
Just about everyone makes them, whether it be to drink less (always a popular one on New Years Day), exercise more, or eat healthier, they usually, almost always, get broken...
I feel like I know what I NEED to do with a new year, a new start, and that is to be selfish!! Yeah, you read that right, selfish.
I need to think more about myself, focus on what makes ME happy and do whatever it takes, even if the thought of it scares the hell out of me. I need my mind back in a positive state and I am so ready for the challenge.. I think..
My list looks something like this: (Not in any specific order)

* At least try CBT and see where that takes me
* Say NO when I need to
* Get out a lot with my camera
* Be less modest
* Give myself some time each day to not think, just breathe, maybe start yoga...again!

Then I have the usual ones:

* Stop smoking...again!
* Do more cooking from scratch
* Start saving, somehow

I think thats it... oh wait,

* Drink more water

Have you got yours yet or started thinking about it? Whatever it is, I hope it makes you happy because that is all that matters. I wish you and myself luck :)

Take care

Sunday, 6 December 2015

I need a Christmas tree..

For the people that don't know me personally, I love, love, LOVE Christmas!! I love everything about it but one of the things I really enjoy doing is decorating my home.
When the 1st of December comes around, the decorations are straight up, this will be the longest we have gone without putting the tree up though and it's killing me. Hopefully next Sunday we will have our cute little fir and it will all be complete. I say complete, I'll probably see little bits and bobs while I'm out and keep adding to the decor until it's too late... I can't help it, I have a Christmas decor addiction.

This is what our house is looking like at the moment.

It's sooo priddy. I also really love seeing other peoples Christmassy homes, so send me some shots of yours. 

Take care


Tuesday, 1 December 2015

A magical Christmas bedroom

It's the 1st of December, wooooh!!
Our scout elf, Pickle, came back to stay with us until Christmas Eve again. There was no mischief this time, he actually did a lovely thing and transformed the boys bedroom while they were sleeping. I had two very, VERY excited children this morning, nagging me at 5.30am to go see what Pickle had done...
Here are a few shots of their bedroom.

I'm sure I'll be back soon to share any antics that Pickle gets up to.
Take care

Friday, 6 November 2015

Changing my perspective.

I'm usually a very positive, optimistic person, at least to other people. Towards myself, well let's just say my thoughts aren't pleasant, but I'm not here to talk about that today.
Anyway, have you ever just had that wave of realisation that just makes you... well... realise? I was just sat at the kitchen table, worrying about debt, fixing the car before the MOT, and just trying to afford the Christmas presents I would like to get my children, basically just general money troubles. I look up and my youngest gives me a cheeky grin, he's threatening to tell on his brother for trying to watch The Walking Dead on catch up TV. I then remember the facebook post I saw earlier, prayers been asked for another mothers strength and hoping against the odds for a miracle.
It makes me think of all the past posts that I've seen, some from direct facebook friends and some just through the community I'm a part of. Things that, if I even try a little to imagine, makes me sick to my stomach. It makes me think of how much they would give to be in my position right now, to just have money to worry about!
My children are at home with me, they are happy and healthy and I should be more grateful and not take the ordinary everyday for granted.
So, that's why I am now thankful for the debt, because its just money and we will get rid of it, eventually. I am thankful when I hear my children  arguing, or when I have to constantly pick up after them, because that just means, well I'd rather not say...
I know people are allowed to have their own problems and shouldn't feel guilty because other people have it worse, but it just helped me change my perspective on things and I don't think that that is a bad thing.

Take care